Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary. If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations. You may not have oral or anal sex.It is illegal to tickle women. It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed. Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone. A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere. It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm. It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.
PENNSYLVANIA
It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law. Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. You may not sing in the bathtub.Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes. There is a ban on men becoming aroused in public. One's pants may be worn no lower than five inches below the waist. All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires. It is required that a woman have a permit to wear cosmetics. (<-in morisville)
You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street. Sex toys are banned throughout the state. Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate. Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men. Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex. Masks may not be worn in public. Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
ARIZONA
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.You may not have more than two dildos in a house. If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. Women may not wear pants. (<-tucson)
quote: Originally posted by: "I don't believe they are all actual laws still amusing though"
Snyp... this is america... many laws were put on the books years and years and years ago, that suited the LAWMAKERS needs. They are actual laws unless and until they are voted down.
Of course they are never enforced... (except texas where having more than I think 3 sex toys is against the law, a woman recently was fined and I believe did some jail time over this.)
There are MANY more laws like these...
__________________
They say I'm disturbed. Well, of course I'm
disturbed. I mean, we're all disturbed. And if we're not, why not? Doesn't this
blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why
not do something crazy? It makes a helluva lot more sense than blowing your
fucking brains out. -Mark Hunter
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Putting salt on a railway track may be punishable by death.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
Alaska:
You can't look at a moose from an aeroplane.
Arkansas:
It is illegal to mispronounce Arkansas while in Arkansas
California:
Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub
Colorado:
It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM.
Connecticut:
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces
Florida:
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
(SARASOTA) It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
Georgia
It is illegal to tie a giraffe to a lamp post
It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel
Hawaii:
In Hawaii you will be fined if you do not own a boat.
Illinois:
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
Indiana:
Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
Citizens are not allowed to attend a cinema or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
Iowa:
Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
Kansas:
It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.
In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way.
It is illegal to hunt whales.
Kentucky:
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
Louisana:
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault".
Maine:
After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
You may not step out of a plane in flight.
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
In Augusta to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
In Portland shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
Maryland:
You cannot swear while inside the city limits of Baltimore.
You cannot throw a bail of hay out of a second story window in Annapolis.
Massachusetts:
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.
It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
Minnesota:
It is illegal to give or receive oral sex
Mississippi:
If an individual leaves his residence, or place of business, without the direct intent of injuring (killing) someone, they can not be tried for any offence.
Nebraska:
A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
New Jersey:
In Newark it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6:00 p.m.
It's also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street.
In Berkley Heights you may not walk your cattle on the street on Sunday.
New Mexico:
Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
New York:
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It is illegal to jump off the Empire State building.
North Dakota:
Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Ohio:
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
Oklahoma:
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Pennsylvania:
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
If a motorist sees a horse coming down the road, the driver must pull off to the side of the road and cover the vehicle with canvas. If the horse is still scared the driver must get out of his car and take it apart until the horse isn't scared anymore.
In the Mount Pocono region any group of 5 or more Native Americans are to be considered a raiding party and may be killed on the spot.
In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags (based on an Act of 1760).
Rhode Island:
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
South Carolina
It is legal to beat your wife on a Sunday morning on the steps of the state house.
Texas:
A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them.
In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can buy it on Monday.
There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle.
It is illegal to spit on the sidewalk.
If two trains going in opposite directions on the same track meet each other, one can't move until the other does.
It is illegal to carry a pair of wire-cutters in your pocket.
In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager.
In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.
Vermont:
Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.
Washington:
All lollipops are banned.
A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town".
"It shall be unlawful for a candidate for office or for nomination thereto whose name appears upon the ballot at any election to give to or purchase for another person, not a member of his or her family, any liquor in or upon any premises licensed by the state for the sale of any such liquor by the drink during the hours that the polls are open on the day of such election." [This is in fact far less restrictive than the similar British law.]
It is illegal to deflower a virgin even on their wedding day.
West Virginia:
No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions".
It is illegal to put an ice cream cone in your pocket on Sundays.
It is illegal to spit on any sidewalk which women may walk down. (The reasoning behind this law is back in the old days women wore the long floor length dresses and their dresses would drag through the spit!!)
__________________
They say I'm disturbed. Well, of course I'm
disturbed. I mean, we're all disturbed. And if we're not, why not? Doesn't this
blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why
not do something crazy? It makes a helluva lot more sense than blowing your
fucking brains out. -Mark Hunter
quote: Originally posted by: " Snyp... this is america... many laws were put on the books years and years and years ago, that suited the LAWMAKERS needs. They are actual laws unless and until they are voted down. Of course they are never enforced... (except texas where having more than I think 3 sex toys is against the law, a woman recently was fined and I believe did some jail time over this.) There are MANY more laws like these..."
true, but those are too far fetched. like the car one. waaaaaaaaay out there.
__________________
"If you want to know your past life, look into your present condition. If you want to know your future, look into your present action" -Padmisambha
quote: Originally posted by: "you think that is a stupid law?"
stupid that someone felt it was needed, yes.
__________________
They say I'm disturbed. Well, of course I'm
disturbed. I mean, we're all disturbed. And if we're not, why not? Doesn't this
blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why
not do something crazy? It makes a helluva lot more sense than blowing your
fucking brains out. -Mark Hunter