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Deviant Circle Forums -> What once was Open Forum -> Joke
Post Info TOPIC: Joke
Snyper


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Posts: 468
Date:
Joke
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A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.


Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,"
she says.


They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.


After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ......... and stay for breakfast.


They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!!
Everything had been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman.


Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"


No," she replies........."


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Wait for it...


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It's coming...


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(The suspense is killing you, isn't it?)


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She says,


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"You just happened to catch my eye."




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oi oi
Magic Ninjet


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Posts: 396
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:o) I lovate you all.
FD


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Posts: 791
Date:
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quote:
Originally posted by:
""

lol...!


 


 


(dork)



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They say I'm disturbed. Well, of course I'm disturbed. I mean, we're all disturbed. And if we're not, why not? Doesn't this blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why not do something crazy? It makes a helluva lot more sense than blowing your fucking brains out. -Mark Hunter
DriWicked


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That was so corny... that's almost as bad as the muffin joke.



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April rapes my soul and fu/ks my tattered heart
Snyper


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I'll get my coat

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oi oi
FD


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Posts: 791
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quote:
Originally posted by:
"I'll get my coat"
are you cold...  and it's not as bad as in-u-endo...

__________________
They say I'm disturbed. Well, of course I'm disturbed. I mean, we're all disturbed. And if we're not, why not? Doesn't this blend of blindness and blandness want to make you do something crazy? Then why not do something crazy? It makes a helluva lot more sense than blowing your fucking brains out. -Mark Hunter
Dot


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Posts: 361
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You dork


~giggles~



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Dot


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Three bulls are in the pasture complaining. They've heard a rumor that the farmer is bringing in a new bull, and they aren't happy about sharing any of their cows.

The Alpha bull says, "You know, since we settled our differences and split up the cows, I've been pretty happy with MY 120 cows. I am not about to share any of MY cows with this new bull."

The second toughest bull says, "Yeah, well I ended up with only 60 cows, so I can't afford to share any of MY cows."

The youngest bull says, "I may only be half as big as you guys, but I'm still a teenager. I'm already climbing the walls with just 20 cows."

Suddenly a huge, black tractor-trailer pulls into the yard. The entire trailer contains just one animal - the biggest, baddest bull you ever saw. He weighs 3,000 pounds and has horns four feet long. As the new bull strolls down the gangplank, the two-inch thick metal plates actually sag under his weight.

Suddenly the former Alpha bull is a bit more flexible, "Well, maybe I could spare a FEW cows."

The second toughest bull says, "Maybe if I hide in the corner of the pasture, he'll leave me alone."

But the small, teenage bull is snorting, pawing the ground and shaking his fledgling horns in an extremely confrontational way.

Worried about the reckless youngster, the two older bulls trot over to the young bull and say, "Listen, son. It's not worth dying for. Just give the new bull your 20 cows."

"He can HAVE my 20 cows," replies the young bull, snorting and pawing the ground again. "I'm just making sure he knows I'm a BULL!"


An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"


This joke isn't mine. I got it from www.rock103.com



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patryn


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goddamn flies always tryin ta drink me ale!

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"If you want to know your past life, look into your present condition. If you want to know your future, look into your present action" -Padmisambha
Magic Ninjet


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Posts: 396
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quote:
Originally posted by:
"goddamn flies always tryin ta drink me ale!"

 




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:o) I lovate you all.
Snyper


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Dot... i like the cut of ya jib


arrrrrhh



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oi oi
Dot


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Posts: 361
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quote:

Originally posted by:
"Dot... i like the cut of ya jib arrrrrhh"


~Hands ya a cup of JLB~



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lazaruscorporation


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Posts: 17
Date:
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quote:
Originally posted by:
"~Hands ya a cup of JLB~"

He said jib not JLB - how does that man keep appearing on these forums - and now without even being here in person??



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the lazarus corporation
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